I've started a new short story if anyone is interested.

Anything that isn't Star Control. Mind your manners!

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kingschosen
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I've started a new short story if anyone is interested.

Post by kingschosen » Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:08 am

You can follow along if you like. As always, all suggestions and critiques are welcomed and encouraged; no matter if they're positive or negative.

http://tqoafs.blogspot.com/

Part 9
Coming Soon

Edit:
Put it all on a single site.
Last edited by kingschosen on Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:17 am, edited 4 times in total.

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RTyp06
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Re: I've started a new short story if anyone is interested.

Post by RTyp06 » Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:16 pm

I read all 3 parts. Mildly interesting. I'd recommend a bit more detail about the encounters of the character. I couldn't get a clear picture in my head of what the guardian looks like or it's dimensions. I didn't know what some of the objects in the pack were such as "C clips". I couldn't relate to looting everything the character came across such as the hanging corpse or the slain henchmen. I didn't understand why the character would be fighting everyone in the first place. And "Eli"? From the movie Book of Eli?

Perhaps the next chapter will pull it all together for me. Right now im confused about alot of things in the story.

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kingschosen
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Re: I've started a new short story if anyone is interested.

Post by kingschosen » Sat Sep 24, 2011 11:50 am

Yes, it is Eli from Book of Eli.

Also, updated.

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kingschosen
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Re: I've started a new short story if anyone is interested.

Post by kingschosen » Sun Oct 02, 2011 1:27 pm

Added another part.

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kingschosen
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Re: I've started a new short story if anyone is interested.

Post by kingschosen » Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:18 am

Added some more.

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