The Umgah Drone

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Death 999
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by Death 999 » Mon Aug 20, 2018 3:08 pm

I didn't observe it myself. Either I was told by Shiver directly, or through his melee notes on the Umgah, or maybe I'd already been told by a friend of mine from college who was experienced with SC1 and suddenly found the Umgah much less fearsome in SC2, and whose signature line of 'Master 999' in Star Control-related emails led me to reply to him as 'Death 999', which in turn led to this screenname

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The Troglodyte
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by The Troglodyte » Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:36 pm

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Death 999 wrote:[…] and whose signature line of 'Master 999' in Star Control-related emails led me to reply to him as 'Death 999', which in turn led to this screenname

Finally! The mystery backstory of your name has been revealed! Mine comes from a diet I invented several years ago, called the “Troglo-diet”; a variation of the caveman diet. It also shares some similarities with my last name -- you’re getting me sidetracked Death, because I almost forgot! It’s now time for today’s… Joke of the Day! (to be immediately followed of course by today’s battle simulation)

Hmmm… maybe since our simulation will involve the Supox, perhaps today’s joke should be plant-themed, but I don’t know any plant jokes. Oh! Wait! I have one that involves a dead tree, so maybe that’ll work!

Q: What’s the difference between a tiger, a glass of orange juice, and a dead tree?
A: You can drink a glass of orange juice, but you can’t drink a tiger!

1 Awesome Cyborg Umgah Drone (7 pts.)
Vs.
14 Awesome Supox Blades
(14 x 16 = 224 pts.)

RESULTS: Supox wins with zero losses!

Approximate Battle Time: 2 minutes
ANALYSIS: Confusing, to say the least. The Blade began by quickly flying through the Umgah’s Antimatter Cone and was almost completely destroyed right off the bat! However, the Umgah would drop its Cone whenever it was at far range, but still within the Blades firing range of Toxic Globules and was destroyed due to its own negligence. Another example of extremely poor distance management.
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“He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give him up!” ― Khan Noonien Singh

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Death 999
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by Death 999 » Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:38 pm

I'm afraid I don't get that one at all.

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The Troglodyte
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by The Troglodyte » Wed Aug 22, 2018 12:41 am

Death 999 wrote:
Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:38 pm
I'm afraid I don't get that one at all.

What do you mean? What’s not to get?
“He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give him up!” ― Khan Noonien Singh

krulle
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by krulle » Wed Aug 22, 2018 6:46 am

Well, it was an Umgah joke, after all....

Har, Har, Har!

And no, I feel like I'm waiting for the punchline, but I'm sure the next Umgah captain will zip by soon enough and explain the joke to me.
So, I'll just be sitting here waiting.

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The Troglodyte
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by The Troglodyte » Wed Aug 22, 2018 1:39 pm

I’m puzzled. Don’t you get it? You can drink a glass of orange juice, but you can’t drink a tiger! Har! Har! Har!
“He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give him up!” ― Khan Noonien Singh

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Quasispatial
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by Quasispatial » Wed Aug 22, 2018 2:43 pm

The Troglodyte wrote:
Wed Aug 22, 2018 1:39 pm
I’m puzzled. Don’t you get it? You can drink a glass of orange juice, but you can’t drink a tiger! Har! Har! Har!
Well... they're both orange?
That's the closest I can think of. Don't see how it would be funny though.
"Sentient life. We are the Ur-Quan. Independence is intolerable. Blah, blah, blah." - the Spathi High Council, Star Control II.

krulle
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by krulle » Wed Aug 22, 2018 2:49 pm

[ooc]And I missed something about a dead tree....[/ooc]

Har! Har! Har!

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The Troglodyte
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by The Troglodyte » Wed Aug 22, 2018 3:27 pm

krulle wrote: And I missed something about a dead tree....

Oh, the dead tree? I just threw that in there to STUMP you! :lol:

Man, that joke had a long hang time on the punchline. I guess I really went out on a limb on that one!
“He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give him up!” ― Khan Noonien Singh

krulle
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Re: The Umgah Drone

Post by krulle » Fri Aug 24, 2018 7:01 am

So I finally FELL for it?

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