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Captain’s Log – Mar 3, 2158 – Zeta Hyades VI-b – Red Alert
It came time for the battle, but we knew that many of our ships would be at a disadvantage if forced to engage head-to-head against a Mauler warship.
The Umgah Drone, for instance, is severely overmatched; its only weapon and defense -- the antimatter cone -- is nearly impossible to position close enough to the Druuge hull, since the only thing the enemy ship has to do is fire off a shot to return it to a safe distance. Not only that, but the often times useful shield is nullified due to the high density of the cannon shell, which will bypass the colorful antimatter sprinkles.
Most of the other smaller ships in our fleet are also in over their collective heads. Although it is possible to use repeated gravity whips to get a Shofixti Scout to self-destruct near a Mauler, the best one can hope for is usually a partially damaged Druuge ship and minus 1 Scout either way… and we only have 1. On the other hand, the Zoq-Fot-Pik will spend most of its time just trying to get close enough to fire its molten pellets guns (and forget about any tonguing!) before its easily and fairly quickly blasted to pieces.
The Thraddash Torch is an effective ship against the Mauler, but its afterburner won’t come anywhere close to blocking Mauler projectiles, and the idea of attempting to whittle down 5 Druuge ships seems like an overwhelming task, and go ahead and add the Pkunk Fury to that list (plus it saves me from having to listen to Pkunk profanity for half an hour!)
We all know that the Arilou can take down Druuge ships by utilizing laser drive-bys and using the teleporter to escape to safety, but the very thought of having to repeatedly send in a Skiff back through time each time it fails to dodge just one hit to achieve the daunting task struck me as tedious… and annoying. And don’t even let me get started of Fwiffo and his StarRunner! Not happening. Period.
Even if the Syreen were successful, we’d probably lose a few ladies in the fight, and a Penetrator filled with Druuge zombified replacements would only give me nightmares. The Orz Nemesis would be effective using Space Marines to board their ships and toss the Druuge crew into their own furnaces, but since we have extra Shofixti recruitment we’ve had to fill a good portion of our fleet with Shofixti’s, including the Orz ship, which in itself isn’t a problem, until I noticed that the Shofixti had replaced their allotment of laser tridents with bombs strapped to their little furry chests, so I’ve decide against it.
This leaves the Terminator, the Tobermoon and, of course, my ship.
True, the obvious choice seems the Vindicator, since it can easily overwhelm any nearby Mauler, but I can always foresee one of those 5 Druuge ships each and every battle attempt warping in and getting off a shot before we can do anything about it, and I’ve grown weary of battles where I’ve seen my friends die around me; pressing the rewind button so many times has indeed taken its toll on me.
The Terminator is versatile, aggressive, and its shield would hold it in the fight and I’m betting if I sent it through the portal enough times their captain would emerge unscathed… eventually. I can only imagine the tireless hours of pursuing a Mauler over and over again, getting closer and closer only to raise the shields to block a shot and watch the ship hurl itself back to out-of-reach, and begin again, eventually they run low on reserves and play rock-scissors-furnace, and we repeat the process again, and again… and again. No thanks.
To be honest, if it would’ve become necessary I kept those other options in my back pocket, just in case I needed to play one those cards at some point, but I’ve ran the simulators and I know that when it comes down to it there’s truly only one ship in our fleet that has a distinct advantage over the Druuge Mauler: The Earthling Cruiser!!
The Cruiser can fire its warheads from a great distance and their homing mechanisms give them a decisive edge over the Druuge’s cannon, which themselves have to lined up in order to score a hit. Not only that, but when the Mauler fires a shot to avoid the hit, it is still within the line of fire.
We sent in the Tobermoon and they delivered the victory, blasting away all 5 Druuge warships with its nuclear missiles. A few times it seemed like the Druuge would warp in and hit the broadside before the Tobermoon could react, but the fast turning rate allowed it to present the most minimal aspect profile to the incoming attacks. Once a good distance was created, it was church. Fire. Charge. Repeat:
Yes, it’s kind of funny to think that this ship, as opposed to one of our more powerful and ships specifically designed for combat, but this simplistic, straightforward ship, mostly designed to be used as a workhorse, but a ship that was only designed to efficiently use as few resources as possible, allowing us to pump out as many as possible from the Detroit shipyards during the Ur-Quan War.
Its offensive allotment was designed to inflict decent damage with higher range and accuracy, and the powerful turning jets followed suit, sacrificing thrust for turn rate, just so a Cruiser could get its weapons off in time before a Dreadnought could lay waste to it. I even remember hearing rumors that admirals had hoped that cruisers could win the war, not because of their power, but because the Alliance could build over four cruisers for every Hierarchy dreadnought, but I guess in the end this strategy was ultimately proven wrong.
We have destroyed the final Mauler, and the smoke has settled as a hazy shade of Druuge debris cloud in orbit as it disperses slowly into space. We are entering orbit. Stand down red alert. Captain out.
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